My dad was a no nonsense guy with a tremendous sense of humor. He had an answer for everything.
Me: "Hey, we're out of milk!"
Dad: "We have milk we haven't even used yet."
Dad: "Hey get down here."
Me: "Wait..."
Dad: "Weight broke the wagon down."
My personal favorite, when leaving a party or somewhere else...
"Don't think it ain't been nice...cuz it ain't!"
He would drop off the end part because after a while, everyone knew it so well.
What I really appreciated about him was his willingness to sit down and reason out a thing instead of yelling or getting mad or punishing.
Once, when I was in college, he sat me down and told me my mom had been reading my journal. I was incensed! He said my mom thought I was going to kill myself and couldn't I write something positive in there. How dare she! was all I could think. I eventually did write something in there, but not without a statement about invading one's privacy.
The thing I love about that story is that despite my mom's reaction, and despite whatever it was I wrote, he knew I wasn't going to kill myself. He knew it was just teenage angst. He was so practical and straight to the point. I loved him. Now, I adore him. And miss him.
